• Zandile Nkosi

Anchoring Unconditional Love

Updated: Sep 30, 2021

February is traditionally seen as the month of love, however, everyday is a brilliant opportunity to celebrate love in its countless permutations.



What I feel is paramount more than anything in the world particularly in these strange times is treating one another with kindness, dignity, generosity and respect. The past year to date has been extremely challenging for all of us on so many levels, which has understandably increased the intensity of our emotions.


Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.

- Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart


When we come from a place of self-reflection and take responsibility for what's our stuff and our contribution in every interaction with others, we not only grow wiser and become sublimer versions of ourselves, we also become more loving.


Mirror, mirror on the wall


Life mirrors back to us both our magnificent and unhealed aspects. While each of us may have attained self-mastery in several areas to varying degrees, there are always facets of ourselves that require healing through self-compassion, forgiveness and heightened awareness to help us evolve into something greater if we choose to do so.


Learning to transform our own destructive energy into something benevolent creates internal clarity and harmony. Holding on to and propagating anger, resentment, fear, hatred, endlessly pointing fingers at one another in blame, is like "drinking poison and hoping the other person will die" - which obviously doesn't happen - it just hurts us and creates an environment of suffering for everyone involved. While negative emotions denote an imbalance and the feeling of something unwanted, it is vital to gently acknowledge these distressing emotions with compassion so they can be released and transformed.


We're all doing our best to create an amazing life. And if we are to succeed in being healthy, happy, and live in harmony with one another, we've got to start taking ownership of our energy, thoughts and actions as well how we project these onto others; with the aim of listening to understand as opposed to listening to react, thus creating a safe space for our collective healing.


What is your truth?


Being unconditionally loving toward yourself and others is not about condoning anyone's harmful or dysfunctional behaviour. It is about gently discerning and being accountable for your own narcissistic, detrimental and harmful thoughts and actions that you generate as an individual, so these shadow aspects can be transmuted. It is also about recognising the real beauty, innocence, sovereignty, purity and truth of who we are, which is unconditional love incarnate at the very core - and then living this truth on a daily basis.


The key is cultivating healthy boundaries, becoming aware of our motives and practicing compassionate action. Building a reservoir of empowering resources helps us become more self sufficient, self soothing and self caring. As we engage in simple activities that bring joy like deep belly laughter, hanging out in nature and breathing in fresh air, spending quality time with loved ones, exuding an attitude of appreciation or simply having fun; our wellbeing is enriched. This open hearted and mindful approach will ultimately manifest a significantly more peaceful, resplendent and prosperous world and the delightfully symbiotic relationships that we desire as individuals and human collective.


Live your own truth with wisdom and let yourself be mindfully free in thought, speech and creative expression. Allow your ever expanding greatness and the magnificence that you already are shine through and flow from the authentic power of love that you actually are - not what someone else has decided for you to be. Anything less than love, truth and liberty is a mere distraction from our authentic nature.


Ubuntu speaks of the very essence of being human. It is to say, "My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in yours." We belong in a bundle of life. We say, "A person is a person through other persons."

- Desmond Tutu, No Future Without Forgiveness


Let us not allow fear to take over our minds and hearts, thereby giving our power away. May we grant ourselves the freedom to make our own considered decisions based on our unique preferences. May we each stand in our power, which is ultimately based in compassion, fairness, wisdom and authenticity.


As we unceasingly nurture, prioritise and protect our own well-being, we increasingly flourish and experience deeper states of inner peace, love and bliss that we can share with others.


Big hugs. Stay in love with yourself and all of humanity!



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